Rag and Flag now a 'class-only' event

AWOL

SINGAPORE, SIN - Rag and Flag is a "class-only" event that now largely caters to the university population of the National University of Studies (NUS). It also risks becoming redundant, shown jarringly by the suspicious lack of any rags nor flags throughout the entire execution of the titular event that NUS students have participated in year after year.

These harsh words come from many within the school's own freshmen population, in a telepathic consensus garnered through hundreds of students who have to work long, tiring hours for their free vacation stays and hall points.

The Durian understands from our interviews with various members of NUS that Rag and Flag is an annual event in which the various halls and faculties will collect recycled items and materials for the creation of the floats and costumes for the performances, and donations collected during flag day which would be donated to charity.

This year's iteration will be held at the floating platform at Marina Bay in order to celebrate 110 years of student slave labour and carefully manipulated academic rankings, as well as to celebrate our nation's 50th birthday in prelude to this year's National Day celebrations. Previous iterations were held within NUS itself, whereby no member of public was even aware of such an event taking place.

Speaking at the school's set-up of this year's Rag and Flag performance at the floating platform this year, local NUS student Ngoh Mua Nee tells the Durian that the only rags she sees are those on the backs of the various freshmen, who have been persuaded and in many cases bribed with incentives to participate in this gruelling test of patience and willpower. "I get to save up $75 a week for my hall's vacation stay, which I pay for being forced to check-in two weeks early before my hall gives my slot away to a equally deserving individual", she tells the Durian.

Local students and residents have also complained regarding the misleading naming of the event, with many disappointed students commenting that the lack of flags on a flag day is poor planning at best, and misinformation at worst. "I was looking forward to the day I got to wave a flag around", said local idiot Boh Toh Nao, shaking his almost-empty can at random strangers in front of a MRT station. "At least I'm helping to collect money for a cause which I'm not even informed about" he says, a weak, tired smile across his blank, dead face.

Various project heads for this year's Rag and Flag were unfortunately unable to be approached for comment, as they were too busy buying "donated" materials and paints "re-used from last year's Rag" from hardware shops, or organising brutal training camps for the freshmen performers.